The Filmscape Reverie

Original Poetry by: Maria Cieslarczyk

“Zodiac”

The stars spoke to me, assured me that it is not a feeble-hearted thing

To have been immersed with the duality of mankind

And obsessed with our silly human standards of success

That the flames don’t burn when you lick them,

Drooling out from the soft corner of your mouth

Onto the grassy patch near your past euphoric underworld

I’m 24 now and the world convinced me I had lost my fire

Years ago – my coming-of-age notions are blacked out, blurred to oblivion

Survival of the fittest yet my will back then was already so bruised

Tell me, what’s it like to not have to be extraordinary to survive?

Exhaustion fills my lungs; inhale, exhale; rinse, repeat

Sometimes it’s better that I don’t remember who I wasn’t.

I’m more alive now than I ever was, so here I stand –

Barefoot in the cricket-singing summer night, upward dazing

So lost in the mysteries of the spinning world my feet are planted on

That my eyes fly higher than the midnight pine tree

That towers above my childhood home – steadier than I ever was.

Moonchild, sing me songs of your midnight paranoia

Of failed yearnings and time-lapsed prayers

It is okay to be a shooting star running out of steam

Preserving your own soul is the only wish that ever mattered anyway

So today, I transcend upwards on a quest to leave my hatred behind

An inner paradise with the celestial sphere oh so near; making peace with the past

Zodiac potential, I glide bare-foot through this imaginary belt

Finally putting away the sorrows and worldly pain I’d always felt

Looking up at these constellations and planets, make me feel so free

The earth still spins but this time the universe will notice me 

As I again dream about 

Everything that I still can be.

“Juliet Forsaken, Romeo a Dream”

Love will have us pressing a knife to the wounds

Crimson delights amid hazy morning fevers

Oxygen tanks crashing, debilitating yearnings

Heart-sick to the core – I’ve no chance in stopping

It – the hopelessness; impossible to surrender now

Do you believe in happily ever after?

“What’s that?” – my fingers itch to close my throat

Stop the wrong words from desperately tumbling out

Baby rhymes unready for their purpose,

In stitching thoughts together, not meant to ever be

Kisses aren’t confessions and neither are half-meant

Promises; my chest can’t help but beg for devotion so strong

It mends our sharp pieces back together

An empty shrine, unraveling dead worshippers

I am not broken; just a long-lost Juliet forsaken

Hopeless romantics aren’t favored to win

Alas perhaps there’s a reason we still keep trying

“Gravel“

I stop rearranging the gravel embedded in my knees

The world is shocked as the pedestal turns to glass

We were never the strong heroes they made us out to be

Hours in prayer hurt more than pretending it never mattered

Bargaining every spare moment for one last chance

The way a slaughter lamb begs for rebirth

Only to accept its sacrifice once more

We all must face the truth of growth

We were wrong to believe that

Feeling the fist of love

Is better than

Living life unbruised

Please stop – my veins are drained. I have no more blood to give

The choke in my throat sweetens to bile

Purging you from my body is all my fingers can do

Dreamland escapes, the lime poison granting courage to be destroyed

Hurt me again – the hope of your hands

Wringing my neck

Is all I can bear to keep going

Melodies of malice are better than silence

Lullabies to live

As I brush the gravel off and begin to stand