The Filmscape Reverie

By: Maria Cieslarczyk

Last year, I published an article for Thought Catalog on how you’re never too old to chase your dreams, and one year later, I can only humbly re-emphasize that point. Who ever said high school or college is your peak was dead wrong. Although the blessings of lifelong friends and stepping into the direction of my dreams definitely transpired over my university experience, there is no timeline for our accomplishments. In fact, the concept of what it means to be successful can fluidly evolve post-grad…and more excitingly so, your identity can also undergo epic transformation.

As a Baby Adult, being in our 20s is a recipe for not just catastrophic disasters…but also catastrophic revelations. I’ve learned a lot about my character through the challenges I’ve faced, and it’s helping me work towards being the best version of myself.

Although sometimes these self-imposed discoveries may feel overwhelming. I mean, didn’t we just “figure our whole lives out” when we were in college, anyway? Now it’s entering the “Adult World (chock full of 401Ks, growing pains, and the revival of old dreams) …and it can be a lot to deal with. Especially when these midnight hauntings appear at the corner of your room and hold you captive.

The truth of the matter is, our 20s are a time to experiment and try new things. We must give ourselves grace as we pick up the pen and scribble new thoughts, new plans, and new ideas, down. I don’t believe there’s ever a standard time to “settle down” – the purpose of life is to keep moving forward, whatever that may look like to you.

In all honesty, the 20s are a confusing time. Sometimes I catch myself experiencing oh-so-wonderful growing pains as I anxiously plan for the future. Most importantly, it’s been a challenge to step out of Neverland and realize there’s some pretty cool magic here in the adult world too. It never feels like I have everything 100% figured out as I try to enjoy living in the present moment. I’m 24 now and my co-workers and friends who are almost 30 have patted me on the back, looked me in the eye, and chuckled wisely that this decade sure is a FUN one.

So, I’ve decided to take on a #Wasian Carrie Bradshaw writer persona this decade – minus of course the messiness with everyone’s most hated situationship, Mr. Not-Big-Enough-To-Make-Me-Like-You and even worse, minus the new glamorous heels every episode. As I focus on my creative expression, I hope you too can find the thing that brings you the most joy and purpose…and dedicate some time to setting your heart on fire and doing it. Although, it probably won’t be perfect our first time around.

After all, our confusing 20s are a time for self-creation – finding out what we like, what we don’t like, and what we’d like to do more of. There’s never a wrong answer. Is this my writing my truths era? My traveling to Asia and other new places era? My cooking ube pancakes at 1 a.m. era? Why not all three?

Being in our 20s is not a weakness; it’s a superpower. In fact, being in our confusing 20s is a launching pad for identity evolution. Being a kid and being a teenager were two completely different times in our lives. Now, being “real adults” allows us the opportunity to morph into who we’ve always wanted to be…and continue unlearning societal expectations of who we were supposed to be. We no longer feel obligated to humor the guidelines of what other people want us to be like. This point in time is refreshing because it allows us to reinvent ourselves over and over and over again.

I faced an ugly beast of anxiety and depression last year when I stepped off that graduation stage. Although I was working at Disney (and now at iHeart), two of my dream companies over the course of my first year being post-grad, I struggled with my identity and how to move forward from being a “big kid” in college. “Great,” I thought nervously, “Undergrad is over now…working nonstop at completing my education goal had been met by the grace of God. My focus on being a dedicated student (amidst working part and full-time jobs along the way) for what felt like my entire life was officially over. Now what?”

I figured out my answer slowly. It comes in pieces when I do what I love and also when I spend time with those who inspire me. The “now what?” question was not a nerve-wrecking existential crisis, but actually the question that propelled me to examine the parts I had made out to be my identity. I was more than the labels, more than even what I had initially thought.

It’s okay to make mistakes and try then fail, then try again. You must take the leap of dire faith and believe in yourself…and all you can be. Now, in our daunting, chaotic, weird 20s, is the time to put all the studying and hard work to the test. Go for every opportunity that pulls at your heartstrings, even if it seems too hard. Even if it seems impossible. My favorite quote is that “rejection is redirection.” If it’s calling you, it’s for a reason. Now is the time to try new things, scare yourself, and go ham!

Life is a journey after all…why not partake in the exhilarating adventure of redefining who we are? Good luck – and cheers to every phase of who you were and who you’ll continue to be.